


The Teenage Retiree Tango

by pennylogue



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Catharsis Ending, F/M, Pre-Relationship, Steven Universe Future, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23208205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pennylogue/pseuds/pennylogue
Summary: Steven and Connie are the best of friends. Both have plans for the future, and both are certain that they know how their Jam Bud is going to react to those plans.Both, unfortunately, are wrong.A different take on "Together Forever", conceptualized and written pre-release.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56





	The Teenage Retiree Tango

Touching down on the Masked Island warp pad, Steven didn’t even bother to look around. Instead, he beckoned for Connie to climb on his back.

“Is this really necessary?” Connie asked, hopping up with ease. Thanks to years of training, she easily supported herself, but he placed a hand under one leg just in case.

“Trust me,” Steven said, collecting the picnic basket and blanket with his free hand. "ThIs place is beautiful, but I am _not_ in the mood to deal with Watermelon Stevens today. Ready?”

“Ready!”

His body was so light with anticipation that it was easy to launch into the air. Behind him, he heard Connie gasp, and he felt a grin spread across his face. 

They soared high above the island, easily traveling over the Watermelons civilizations. The island, rich and green and set with geodes like gems, sparkled below them, and the ocean stretched out in front of them forever.

An ocean he’d once helplessly floated in for hours, and as he’d stared up into the sky, carefully away from his arms, he’d just been thankful that a body made out of watermelon couldn't feel pain—

He was starting to fall. _Oh no, oh no, I can’t—_

“This is amazing, why didn’t we come here _ages_ ago?” Connie said into his ear.

“Oh, uh, you know—“ _Happy thoughts, Universe._ It was easy to summon protective feelings, to throw a shield down and launch even higher, rather than drifting back down to the ground like he normally would have. And if he spent just a second too long bracing himself on the shield, collecting himself, who else could tell?

Connie shrieked. “Steven! When did you figure that out?”

“Just a little while ago,” he said, letting her excitement buoy him higher. Darting between his shields, he easily made his way across the island. “I’ll tell you all about it, but first, where should we eat?”

* * *

They picked a cliff with a nice view of the ocean and set about unpacking. By the time Steven had summarized the basics of Watermelon Steven civilization, as well as his and Jasper’s…fight? Match? Discussion, but with punching instead of words? Point was, by the time he finished catching her up on gem stuff, they were well into their meal.

“So I healed everything up, and that was that,” Steven finished, crunching a mouthful of chaaaaaaaps. He stretched out on the blanket, laughing a little. “And if you told me a couple years ago that I’d actually be grateful for Jasper trying to punch me in the face—“

Connie snorted. “Thanks again, Jasper, for rousing an army of corrupted gems to try and kill us. Training would have been _so boring_ without you popping up to leer at us and headbutt people.” Shaking her head, she rummaged around in the picnic basket, re-emerging with an apple.

“I guess I should just be grateful to her,” Steven replied, grinning. “How else would I have figured out my powers, without the threat of an enormous terrifying gem roaming Earth?”

“Yeah, about the powers.” Connie bit into an apple and crunched it thoughtfully. “The shield-jump thing—have you experimented at all? How long can you do that for? Have you tested how high you can go?”

“Not really. I haven’t had the time, you know how it is.” He turned away and sat up to sip at his soda. That wasn’t _strictly_ true. He didn’t like hiding things from Connie. He already had skipped a few minor details in his description of the Jasper thing. But Connie didn’t need to hear about how deep a funk he’d been in after abandoning both Little Homeschool and his greenhouse. He felt fine now, and the most important thing was focusing on the future. 

Conne moaned. ”Tell me about it. Cram school is brutal. If it weren’t for the other kids, I think I’d have gone insane.”

“They seemed really nice,” Steven said. He plucked one of the cookies Connie had brought from its packaging. _Casual_ , _act casual._ "Uh, how’d you meet them?” 

“Yeah, they’re so great,” Connie tossed her sandwich to one side and scrolled through her phone. She showed him a group chat that was half silly emojis and half discussion of books that Steven had never heard of. “Daniel offered to lend me his English notes after some group work I was having a hard time in, and we got to talking. He was already friends with Patricia, and the three of us just kinda clicked. That hardly _ever_ happens, it’s been really nice. I mean, look at this.”

Connie swapped to her photo app, showing him a few selfies she’d taken with her friends. Some of them were in emptied-out classrooms, but one was at an ice cream store, and another was at Connie’s house. In that last one, Connie and Daniel were laughing hysterically at Patricia, who had her head in her hands.

A thin needle of envy shot through Steven. “Oh, uh, what happened there?”

“It’s hard to explain. Patricia had one of those long chains of putting her foot in her mouth, it was stupid.” She scooted closer and tapped him on the arm. “You should hang out again with us sometime. They really liked you.”

He knew it was whiny and sounded immature. But he couldn’t help it. Before he could stop himself, he muttered, “I think they liked Stevonnie more.”

Connie just nodded, like she got it completely. “Well, it’s hard to top Stevonnie.” She sprang up and spun around, half-dancing. “I mean, where do they get those dance moves from? I’m alright, and you’re good, but they just…tear it up. It’s like we’re weightless.”

Steven opened his mouth. 

“Incorporate floating into _your_ improvised dance routines, and _then_ you get to talk,” Connie said, leaning down over him.

He closed his mouth, giggling. Wow, he’d laughed more today than he had in weeks.

And the silence stretched between them, long and comfortable, edged with something he couldn’t quite name.

Why? 

Because Connie was leaning down over him, half-smile on her face and dark hair ruffling in the wind, just a bit sweaty and the ocean all around her, her eyes sparking with happiness, and she looked so perfect that he couldn’t believe it.

…he’d planned on asking her after they’d finished eating. He’d suggest they fuse to test out shield-bouncing on the way back, to soften her up a bit, and when they finally unfused, he’d ask her. That would have been the perfect time. 

But he couldn’t hold off any longer.

“You know,” Steven said, “Speaking of Stevonnie. Now that I’m…not doing… Little Homeworld, I was thinking I should join in on more of the groundwork. Finding corrupted gems, traveling across space to help work out disputes. And I know you’re super busy, but when was the last time you got off planet?”

Connie straightened up, her eyebrows slowly pinching. “Steven, you know I can’t—“

“You must have _some_ weekends free,” Steven said, scrambling to his feet to look her in the eye. “Or a vacation or something. You can’t study twenty-four seven. And we could work on my floaty powers, and practice Stevonnie’s guitar skills, and really have a chance to hang out.”

“Steven…”

“Connie,” he said, hope pounding in his chest.

Her shoulders slumped. “I’ve…been meaning to tell you this for a few days. I didn’t know how to, so—I’m just gonna say it!”

He swallowed. _Hey, Steven, please whisk me away on an intergalactic tour? Sure, Connie! I’d love to._

“I don’t think I can be a Crystal Gem like that, anymore.”

He was hearing her wrong.

Connie clasped her hands together. “You get it, right? Please tell me you get it. I mean, I haven’t been able to have anything close to a normal training schedule in ages. I wanted to help out with Little Homeworld, but I barely could do anything—“

Steven shook his head frantically. “What about all of those teaching manuals you found? The research?”

“That was, what, a few weekends of work? You were working on it every day for months. By now, I’m too far behind in all of this Gem stuff. It would take me forever to catch up, and I just don’t have the time.” She pulled at her blouse, grimacing. “I’ve been talking to my therapist about this for a while, trying to decide, and I really think this is what I have to do for now.” 

He could feel ice sinking through his gut, sharpening to a hard point right under his gem. He could barely hear what she was saying. This couldn’t be happening. 

“Steven, I loved sword-fighting beside you, and training with you, and going through all of this together. I’m so happy that I could be there for you, when you’ve always been here for me. But the war’s over now,” Connie said, stepping closer and closer, adopting a strange kind of brightness to her tone. Why was she doing that? Why was she doing this? “You guys don’t need me to fight anymore.”

“But…Spinel…”

“—was one fight in how long? It must be over a year. It’s a fight I was barely here for, and you guys still did fine. You didn’t need me. I sliced a couple cars in half, saved a few people. Lion could have done that by himself. I mean, you went up to that injector with barely any power and you still managed to talk Spinel down. I trained to fight, not be a diplomat. And you’re so good at this, Steven. You’re amazing. You don’t need me to be a knight anymore. But I'll always, always be your friend.”

Steven took her hand in his and looked her in the eye, struggling to speak through the thick, overpowering fear that coated his tongue, choked out his lungs. “You can still be a Crystal Gem.”

“I wish I could.”

She kept saying things, but Steven wasn’t hearing anything. His brain felt fuzzy.

So this was it, then. Connie was leaving him behind, too.

She’d always had her own life. Class and tennis and violin. But she hadn’t had other friends. She’d never seemed to care about anything in her life as much as she cared about being a Crystal Gem. Fighting by his side. She’d been so keen on being part of his life, he’d never really considered that he was missing out on a big part of hers.

But of course he was. While he was traveling around the galaxy and trying to wrangle a bunch of gems a hundred times his age, she was studying and looking at colleges and making normal, teenage, human friends. Ones who _didn’t_ talk about that time they got split in two at roller skating rinks.

And now she was picking all of that over him. He could sense it, he _knew_ in his gut, that this was it. This was the moment where she really started to leave him behind, no matter what she told herself. Oh, they’d still hang out when they could scrape together a few hours, but Connie didn’t have time to be there for Steven-the-gem anymore, just Steven-the-human. She was too busy with classes and homework and all of these human things that had seemed so unimportant back when he would’ve given anything to be a gem. 

Suddenly, passionately, fiercely, Steven _hated._ He wasn’t sure who or what, exactly, he hated, but at that moment, it seemed like it was just about everything.

Or maybe it was just him.

Why had it been so easy to join in when they were Stevonnie? They’d just…belonged together. Stevonnie had teased out all the knots in his head, and everything made sense, and everything was okay. Spinning on the rink, dancing and hugging themselves, he’d finally felt like he’d found something he was good at. Somewhere he belonged, with someone who loved him for who he was.

He belonged with Connie.

And that was when he had a brilliant idea.

* * *

She’d laughed, at first. Like what he said was funny. As if he was joking. So he’d asked again, and again, and now she wasn’t looking at him like he was joking.

Now she was looking at him like she was was having a hard time not calling him crazy.

“I don’t get it,” he said, frustrated. “This way, we just stay together and always be there for each other _and_ it won't get in the way of your life.”

Connie heaved a sigh. “And I just told you, Steven, I can’t be too involved with Gem stuff anymore. I don’t have time for it.”

Oh, that was it? He laughed. She was just confused about what he was asking, no big deal. "I didn’t say we’d be doing gem stuff,” he clarified. “I was just saying we'd be fused.”

“So….what would we be doing, then?” 

She still didn’t get it. He bounced on his toes, feeling so light that he almost bounced straight into the air. He could barely picture the expression on her face when she realized that they could do this. That this was _allowed._ Such an easy solution to all of their problems, and he hadn't even thought of it! “We’d be doing all of your stuff! Going to school, applying for college. Connie, we could go to college together! Wouldn’t that be amazing?”

“Steven, you’re joking, right? This is…don’t you think this is a little…sudden? And what about you? What about everything you’re doing?”

Connie _still_ wasn’t getting it. He hurried to explain, tripping over his words. “No—look, Garnet and Amethyst—the gems barely need me anymore! The Diamonds have Spinel, the school’s running itself. Lapis basically handled the last mission we did. Nobody needs me for anything but spit, and Stevonnie can just—“ He grabbed his cup from the ground and mimed spitting into it. Why didn’t he realize it before? If nobody really needed him, what was keeping him here? He could just go be Stevonnie with Connie all of the time, and everything would be great!

“So Stevonnie would just….what…take over my life?”

“You said it yourself, everyone loves them, and this way we’d be able to be together all of the time!” He grinned. It was genius.

“Steven, we can’t…”

“Why not?” 

She shook her head. “I don’t….when would we split up?”

“That’s why this is so great! We wouldn't have too!” _We’d be like Garnet_ , he added silently, staring into her eyes, begging for this to click. For her to reach out a hand and invite him inside, so they didn’t have to face the future alone.

She didn’t smile. It didn’t click. Her mouth gaped. If anything, she looked horrified.

“Connie…don’t you want to be Stevonnie with me?“ He took her hand, stepped closer—accidentally treading on one of his sandwiches. But who cared about sandwiches at a time like this?

She still wasn’t looking him in the eye. “Steven, I love being Stevonnie with you. But I also love being Connie.”

“You’d still be Connie,” he said quietly.

“That’s not what you’re saying.” She gripped his hand even tighter. Her sword-handling callouses were fading away, he realized. How had he not noticed? “I’m not ready for that. We’re both really young, and don’t—don’t you…still want to be Steven?”

Of course he did. “Of course I do.”

She bowed her head into his chest. “Then why are you asking to live my life twenty-four-seven, as Stevonnie?”

He didn’t say anything. Didn’t breathe. He wasn’t even sure his heart was beating. 

“You know that’s what you just said, right?” Connie asked again.

Thoughtlessly, he stepped backwards. Retreated. “I--no--that’s not…” He could feel the smile slipping from his face. He tried to grin, to bring it back, but he could feel how fake it felt. How wrong it was. How wrong he was.

Because that wasn’t what he’d said, right?. She still wasn’t understanding him. He’d explained it wrong, somehow, because that wasn’t it. That wasn’t it at all. Of _course_ he still wanted to be Steven, how could she even ask a question like that? He just...didn’t want to have to be Steven alone. Yeah, that was it. He wanted to disappear into the swirl of colors and sound that was Stevonnie, a person who was so much stronger than he could ever be.

He wanted to be together with Connie. 

Why did she think that was such a bad idea?

“Steven, are you feeling okay? You’re looking really...flushed.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Connie raising a hand, reaching out. Part of him wanted to reach back out and meet her. But part of him was still smarting at this—this rejection. Because that’s what it was. A rejection from his oldest and best friend.

“I’m fine. I’m good,” he snapped, pacing back and forth, spinning on his heels and pacing another length of the cliff. “I’m just….so this is it? So you’re just going to go off and do human stuff without me?” Because he wanted to be happy for her. He’d been trying _so hard_ to be happy, for _ages_. But he just couldn’t. 

“Have you been listening to a word I’ve been saying? I can’t believe you’re—“ she cut off.

He waited.

Silence.

He paced another length of the cliff, waited another moment. Wasn’t she going to say anything else? He and Connie almost never fought. It was hard to predict how she’d react.

Finally, he looked up. 

Connie was kneeling on the picnic blanket, looking up at him, with her hand over her mouth. Slowly, as he watched, she dropped her hand. “Wait. It can’t be, is this what this is about? Human stuff? Steven…are you…you can’t be…you’re not jealous?” Her eyes were wide. Disbelieving.

And a tiny part of him recognized what was layered in her voice. The loneliness, lying to her parents, the hours of work, stress…the confidence she’d only gained when she could swing a sword by his side. The quiet training day she’d confessed to him how it felt like, without gem powers and with the pressure of keeping up in school, she’d never be able to catch up to him.

The fact that he knew her better than anybody else. Knew how she’d first hesitantly invited, then pushed and shoved herself into his world. For herself, but also, for him. Because she’d wanted to be there for him.

Well, she didn’t want to be there any longer.

And something in him _snapped_. 

“You just don’t get it! You can just bow out whenever you want from this. You can work at a job or go to school or to camp and do anything you want and just forget about all of this, because you’re human and that’s what humans are supposed to do. _I_ don’t get to do that! I’m not human, like you are. This is my _whole life,_ this is everything _I’m_ supposed to do!”

He was shouting, he realized. Fists balled at his sides, eyes screwed close, and he was shouting at Connie. He could he shout at Connie? He brought his hand up to his eyes and realized that tears were on his cheeks, spilling helplessly down his face.

He wiped at his tears with his sleeve, looking away from her. There was a bright, reddish haze at the edges of his vision. Everything was falling apart. “For…I don’t know, however long I’m going to live, this is who I have to be. So yeah, I’m jealous.”

And that’s when he looked properly at his hand, and realized that it was the wrong color. He wasn’t imagining a reddish haze at the corners of his vision.

No, he was glowing bright, bright pink.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to fanfoolishness for betaing!
> 
> Look, my wheels were spinning after that leak trying to think what could possibly drive Steven to think proposing was a good idea. The show went in a decidedly different direction than I did, but I still like my idea and I thought I'd have fun with it.
> 
> Cathartic second chapter coming at some point.


End file.
